Filing for divorce, whether it’s on fault or no-fault grounds, is stressful. Here are six steps you should follow to stay organized and make the process stress-free:
- Prioritize Open Communication
Communication is key in marriage, but also in divorce. Suppressing feelings and thoughts can lead to long-term resentment and make it difficult for you and your partner to come to terms with the situation.
Moreover, clear communication and negotiations will help you manage assets and debts quickly and efficiently. You can also expedite the divorce process and save your children from emotional distress.
Here’s how you can maintain open communication with your soon-to-be ex-partner:
- Always discuss divorce-related matters in a private space. This will help you have a focused and interruption-free discussion.
- Practice active listening and allow your partner to share their opinions. Don’t dismiss their concerns, and listen attentively, even if you disagree.
- Try to maintain a calm and respectful demeanor. Avoid yelling, calling names, and bringing up past issues.
- Communicate through a mediator if you and your partner are not on speaking terms.
Open communication may not solve all the problems, but it can make the process less emotionally exhaustive.
- Know When to Seek Legal Guidance
Even if you and your partner have agreed upon major issues, legal procedures involved in a divorce can be challenging to navigate. This can include property division, child custody, and alimony. The stakes are too high to make a mistake, which is why it is recommended to hire a family lawyer.
Family lawyers are aware of the ins and outs of both contested and uncontested divorces. They will stop you from making mistakes and ensure that you’re not taken advantage of during the process.
Moreover, family law attorneys have in-depth knowledge of state-specific divorce laws. For example, in Texas, there are strict laws for the division of community property. Any property that a couple owns during their marriage is community property.
Unless the spouse can show proof of individual ownership of an asset, it will be subjected to division. If you’re living in Austin, Texas, having an Austin family law attorney will help you navigate complicated laws and make informed decisions.
- Organize Financial Documents
If not handled properly, finances can become one of the messiest aspects of your divorce. Take charge of your finances, gather all the necessary documentation, and send them to your family law attorney.
Here are three types of financial documents you need to collect:
Assets
Assets refer to everything you and your spouse have owned or are in the process of owning. Make a list of your property and belongings, which includes vehicles, cash, jewelry, furniture, real estate, and insurance plans. If you have assets under your children’s name, include them in the list as well.
Debts
A debt is the amount of money you and your spouse need to pay to a lender. Include debts that are individual as well as shared responsibilities. Gather documents related to mortgage, rent obligations, tax debts, educational loans, credit card debts, and any other debts taken from friends or organizations.
Expenses
Finally, list all your monthly expenses. This will help a court understand your financial situation. Include the costs for housing, utilities, childcare, entertainment, insurance, taxes, and other expenses.
- Focus on Your Children’s Well-being
Divorce, for children, stirs fear and uncertainty. Younger children might feel overwhelmed trying to understand new arrangements, while older children feel the burden of divided loyalties. Without proper care, your children might face long-term academic and personal difficulties.
So, how do you shield them from stress and anxiety? Start by keeping them away from conflict. Don’t get into heated arguments with your partner in front of them. Moreover, present a united front when discussing the details of your divorce.
Young children might consider themselves responsible for the separation. Reassure them they are not to blame. Listen to their feelings attentively and give them time to understand the situation. If you’re too quick to offer solutions, your children might feel unsupported and try to hide their feelings.
- Develop a Co-parenting Plan
Co-parenting is one of the most challenging aspects of a divorce. Even if you and your ex-partner don’t have a cordial relationship, you need to put aside everything to develop a co-parenting plan. Remind yourself that you’re doing it for the well-being of your children.
The basic components of a co-parenting plan include:
- Parenting time: Clarify how much time each parent will spend with the child. It is best to make schedules for family vacations, holidays, and special occasions.
- Decision authority or Legal Custody: The parent with legal custody is authorized to make some of the most critical decisions of a child’s life. This includes school, medical treatment, and even religion.
- Living arrangement: When couples with children split up, it is common for the children to have two separate homes. Determine how your child’s time will be divided between the two locations.
- Financial support: This includes child support and other economic aspects of your child’s life. Make sure there is a shared understanding of each parent’s share and responsibility.
A well-thought co-parenting plan can save you from future conflicts and give your children stability.
- Take Care of Yourself
Healing after a divorce is similar to a grief process. With the right strategies and practices, you can work through negative emotions. Here are some tips you can follow:
- Allow yourself to grieve. Acknowledge the fact that you’re feeling sad, angry, anxious, and overwhelmed. Acceptance is the first step towards healing.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself. Guilt and shame are common feelings when a relationship ends. Understand that it takes two people to be in a relationship and two people to end one.
- Find a support system. You can reach out to a trusted friend or a family member to share your emotions and move forward.
- Make time for self-care. For some people, this can be a road trip to the mountains, while others feel better when they exercise. The aim is to do something for yourself.
Whether you’re in the early stages of your divorce or deep in the grieving phase, paying attention to your well-being can make the process smooth.
